from The Office
(on Michael's speakerphone overheard by Jan and Pam) "Hey, is old Godzillary coming in today?...Look, I've been meaning to ask her one question. Does the carpet match the drapes?" - Todd Packer, "Pilot - The Office," The Office
"Bleep bleep! What's up, Halpert? Still queer?" - Todd Packer, "Sexual Harassment," The Office
"OK, here's the story. So Randall is nailing his secretary, right? And she's totally incompetent...We're talking blonde incompetent, right? Like, ten words a minute? Talking?" - Todd Packer, "Sexual Harassment," The Office
(telling a joke) "There's this guy, he's at a nymphomaniac convention. And he is psyched, because all these women are smoking hot, perfect 10s, except for this one chick, who looks a lot like...[looks around the room, pointing. Kevin says: "Phyllis?"] Yeah!" - Todd Packer, "Sexual Harassment," The Office
"What has two thumbs and likes to bone your mom? This guy!" - Todd Packer, "Sexual Harassment," The Office