from Scrubs
(thinking) "Your butt looks like two Pringles hugging." - John 'J.D.' Dorian, "My First Day," Scrubs
"Surgical interns, they're all slice-'em-and-dice-'em. They're the jocks. Medical interns, we're trained to think about the body; diagnose, test. Medical interns, well, we're the chess club." - John 'J.D.' Dorian, "My First Day," Scrubs
"But what the hell. The most important thing is that I got through my first three days without looking like a complete idiot. [walks into a glass door]." - John 'J.D.' Dorian, "My First Day," Scrubs
(narrating) "The human brain is remarkable. Once a day for nine years, I thought I lost my watch 'cause I can't remember which wrist it's on." - John 'J.D.' Dorian, "My Mentor," Scrubs