"True love is hard to find. Sometimes you think you have true love and then you catch the early flight home from San Diego and a couple of nude people jump out of your bathroom blindfolded like a goddamn magic show ready to double team your girlfriend." - Mitch Martin, Old School
"All I want to do is get some f**ing sleep. " - Mitch Martin, Old School
"At this point, you might be asking yourself, 'Why am I holding this 30 pound cinder block in my hands?' You might also ask yourself, 'Why does this cinder block have a long piece of string tied to it?' And finally, "Why is the other end of this string tied securely to your penis?'" - Mitch Martin, Old School
"Denver? The sunshine state? Gorgeous! " - Mitch Martin, Old School
"This is my house. I live here, Beanie. I'm 30 years old. None of us are enrolled in the college. " - Mitch Martin, Old School
(when one of his pledges dies) "Well, yes but Blue was really old. And I feel pretty confident when we get the autopsy back it'll say natural causes." - Mitch Martin, Old School