Read our Review of My Life In Ruins
(observing three shirtless muscular Greek men splashing at a fountain) "It looks like the Fourth of July at Elton John's place."
- Gator,
My Life In Ruins
(finding out that Poupi (Alexis Georgoulis) speaks English) "You speak English?...Why would you not tell me? (Poupi responds, "I thought you needed to talk. I have three sisters. So talk.")"
- Georgia,
My Life In Ruins
(asked if she would like a drink) "I'm a lightweight, one drink and I'm looking for a bellman to make out with. That was a joke."
- Georgia,
My Life In Ruins
(reading out loud as she writes a letter to her boss, Maria) "Dear Maria, you are my only friend in Greece and you bite the big one. After this tour, I quit. Love, Georgia"
- Georgia,
My Life In Ruins
(meeting his tour group and introducing himself to an elderly couple) "I'm Irv Giddian and I've come here to see as many ancient ruins as possible and judging from your husband, the trip is already a success."
- Irv Giddian,
My Life In Ruins
(telling a joke to tour group B) "How many of you, like me, have come here to fondle as many nude statues as possible? This is comedy. The Greeks invented it, like moustaches on women."
- Irv Giddian,
My Life In Ruins
(telling Georgia that she needs to open up a little. Georgia says she is open.) "You're open? Look at you, you're about as tight as my Aunt Glady's ass. Hey, open up."
- Irv Giddian,
My Life In Ruins
(apologizing to his peers on the bus after Georgia did the same) "Me too. I would like to apologize to everybody. It was my medication, I take Preparation H because I'm an asshole."
- Irv Giddian,
My Life In Ruins
(responding to being teased that he may be a god) "I'm not a god. That's just a rumor my mother started."
- Irv Giddian,
My Life In Ruins
(after Georgia told him that maybe he is a god) "Georgia, I haven't made #2 since Chicago. If I were God, I would fix that first."
- Irv Giddian,
My Life In Ruins
(Georgia sees him emerging from his room with two hot women and says "I don't see how you do it!") "A little blue pill. Pfizer makes it and Medicare pays for it."
- Irv Giddian,
My Life In Ruins
(boring Georgia with his talk about pancakes and syrup and how fattening they can be) "…It's very fattening. Not that I have anything against fat people. Fat people are our biggest demographic. I bought two houses in Florida off them. God bless them."
- Marc,
My Life In Ruins
(answering Georgia's question of what he plans for his life, after all, Greece is the land of philosophers) "That is their job. My job is to drive the bus, you know it pays better."
- Poupi,
My Life In Ruins