Read our Review of I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell
(in jail and causing a disturbance when the police come in to quiet things down) "Holy shit, it's like Police Academy only gayer!"
- Dan,
I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell
(as they walk into a bar filled with old people) "Do you know what a 'soft on' is? It is the opposite of a 'hard on' and that's what I have. I will pay you ten dollars if only you can erase this visual atrocity from my memory."
- Drew,
I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell
(Drew complains as the boys want to get some drinks until the strip joint opens) "Oh, wonderful. Now I get to meet all these people up close instead of facelessly judging them from this metal fart coffin."
- Drew,
I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell
(after being challenged by a stripper to a video game he claims to be a master at playing) "I'm not going to some vile stripper's den where her baby's daddy is waiting so he can roll me and steal my organs."
- Drew,
I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell
(a stripper wonders why she is mildly attracted to him after his insults) "It probably has something to do with a confluence of my caustic sense of humor and the inability of your various stepfathers to show you any affection."
- Drew,
I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell
(after he meets Jack, his stripper friends' young son who asks him if he can teach him some more cool things) "I think that I have stunted your growth enough for one week. Maybe next time I can teach you how to use standoffish humor as a mask for your inability to relate to people on a personal level."
- Drew,
I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell
(after Tucker Max asks if Dan is really pissed at him) "Has your ape-driven narcissism completely stripped you of the ability to evaluate the consequences of your actions?"
- Drew,
I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell
(still upset with Tucker Max's immaturity) "God truly does protect children and fools because you are both, Tucker."
- Drew,
I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell
(fighting with her mother over Dan when her Mom says 'no good Baptist would be caught dead drinking to excess or get arrested for causing a ruckus') "Of course not, good Baptists don't get caught. They just sit in judgment of others, refusing to help them when they need it the most."
- Kristy,
I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell
(pumping up his buddies on their way to the bachelor party) "Are you ready to get shitfaced and grab some titties?!"
- Tucker Max,
I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell