Read our Review of Hot Tub Time Machine
(yelling at Lou in frustration) "I knew this trip was a bad idea. Every time I hang out with you man it's a sh*t storm. I got guilted into coming onto this trip and now I'm back in the 80s and I hate this decade. "
- Adam,
Hot Tub Time Machine
(exorting Lou to get up and fight after being knocked down by Blaine (ski patrol bully)) "You're better than him. Maybe not by a lot but a little. You're the patron saint of the totally f****d, you're completely toxic, there's nothing you can't kill, you're the Violator. You can do this. You can get us the f*** out of here man. You can be the hero."
- Adam,
Hot Tub Time Machine
(after April asks him to come with her he says) "No, I got to take my clothes off and get into a hot tub with these guys."
- Adam,
Hot Tub Time Machine
(proposes a toast when all the guys and their families get together for dinner) "A toast, approximately three days ago or 20 years depending on your understanding of the time/space continuum, Jacob, sitting here with you guys would have been my worst nightmare but I can honestly say right now that I am very happy to be right here in this moment with you, my best friends."
- Adam,
Hot Tub Time Machine
(Jacob (who has long hair) touches him in anger) "Don't you put your hands on me, young lady! I'm just trying to do my job here."
- Hot tub repair man,
Hot Tub Time Machine
(he tells Adam that he can't move back with his mother because she moved in with her boyfriend) "He's a taxidermist. The taxidermist is stuffing my mother!"
- Jacob,
Hot Tub Time Machine
(telling his theory on how they were transported back to the 80s) "Alright, I write Star Gate fan fiction so I think I know what I'm talking about right now. The tub is some kind of energy vortex, like a black hole but instead of being in space it's, you know, in a hot tub."
- Jacob,
Hot Tub Time Machine
(realizing that they appear as their young selves he tells Jacob, who wasn't even born in 1986) "Shouldn't you be invisible or swimming around in some guy's ball sack?"
- Lou,
Hot Tub Time Machine
(belittling Jacob about his theory on time travel) "OK Professor Hawking, tell me in your robot voice how this is scientifically possible."
- Lou,
Hot Tub Time Machine
(talking about the opportunities to make money with their knowledge of the future) "What about Twitter, whatever the f**k that is. Hey, we could combine Twitter with f*****g Viagra ... Twittagra!"
- Lou,
Hot Tub Time Machine
(after Adam and Jacob and Nick come back in the time machine to 2010) "Welcome back bitches! Ha, ha, ha. What took you so long? Here's a question, was it morally wrong for me to exploit my knowledge of the future for personal financial gain? Perhaps. Here's another question, do I give a f**k?"
- Lou,
Hot Tub Time Machine
(realizing that they are back in 1986) "It must be some kind of hot tub time machine."
- Nick Webber,
Hot Tub Time Machine
(he's black and he cries out) "We're back in the f******g 80s! How am I going to get a job?"
- Nick Webber,
Hot Tub Time Machine
(after Lou bets all of his money vs oral sex with Nick on a football game he remembers from the future) "I don't like you taking liberties with my dick."
- Nick Webber,
Hot Tub Time Machine