At the Movies with Fatwayne

Okay, this one definitely slipped by me. My thanks go out to my nephew, Kyle. OMG! This is the worst/best low budget “B” movie that you could ever imagine. It cost $3,500 to make!!!!!!! I kid you not. The actors performed for free and the special effects are non existent. Despite all of this it is a very funny movie but it is even funnier after a martini or two (maybe three).

The story is about a demonic and “fowl” mouthed turkey who has been necromanced centuries ago by an Indian curse as a result of a slight against the Native Americans by the English Puritans. This is one sick bird! Murderous and full of one liners that will keep you laughing. I only wish that I had a list of his quotes. The movie starts out with a bare breasted Puritan (WTF!), namely porn queen Wanda Lust, running for her life from the beastly bird who just before killing her, compliments her by saying “nice tits bitch” (he must be a breast bird!). It seems that this rotten turkey has it in for any white folk.

All is right in the world until a dog named Flashy decided to pee upon an Indian artifact. This awakens our sick turkey since he apparently does not appreciate being pissed on. Woe to he who lets loose on our demonic turkey!

Wrapped up in all of this is a group of college students who are on their way home for the Thanksgiving holiday. Their car suffers mechanical troubles and as a result they have to camp out in the turkey’s domain. The funny part is that these presumably intelligent beings can’t find a brain between the bunch of them. That makes it all the more fun. Who will survive the wrath of the killer turkey and if any can live through this hellish experience, can they destroy this 510 year old curse? By the way, I did not do the math on this fiasco!

Special effects are totally absent. The turkey is a plastic head with a bad case of plumage.  What makes this movie is the one liners delivered by this “cracker jack” bozo. Also the totally vapid intellect of the college students lend to the “I wish I had another drink” feel to this movie.

Look for the “beakquel” because he always comes back for seconds!  In the words of our eloquent turkey, “gobble, gobble mother f####r”!

Rated  – NR -

Fatwayne’s Rating  -    -