At the Movies with Fatwayne

Let’s see what the movies whose titles start with ‘B-C’ have to offer.

- “I ain’t ever going anywhere. I’m like the stink on your feet, I’ll always be around.”
 Skeeter Bronson, Bedtime Stories

- “I wanted to give him a wedgie but his underwear had holes in it.”
 Skeeter Bronson, Bedtime Stories

- “Badges? We don’t need no stinking badges.”
 Mexican Bandit, Blazing Saddles

- “Mongo only pawn, in game of life.”
 Mongo, Blazing Saddles

- (singing) “Here I stand, the goddess of desire, set men on fire, I have this power. Morning, noon, and night, it’s drink and dancing, some quick romancing, and then a shower. Stage door Johnnies constantly surround me, they always hound me, with one request. Who can satisfy their lustful habits? I’m not a rabbit. I need some rest.”
 Lili Von Shtupp, Blazing Saddles

- “Well, it got so that every piss-ant prairie punk who thought he could shoot a gun would ride into town to try out the Waco Kid. I must have killed more men than Cecil B. DeMille. It got pretty gritty. I started to hear the word ‘draw’ in my sleep. Then one day, I was just walking down the street when I heard a voice behind me say, ‘Reach for it, mister!’ I spun around… and there I was, face-to-face with a six-year old kid. Well, I just threw my guns down and walked away. Little bastard shot me in the ass. So I limped to the nearest saloon, crawled inside a whiskey bottle, and I’ve been there ever since.”
 Jim, Blazing Saddles

- “This is the bill that will convert the state hospital for the insane into the William J. Le Petomane memorial gambling casino for the insane.”
 Hedley Lamarr, Blazing Saddles

- (to Lili Von Stupp) “Shut up, you Teutonic twat!”
 Hedley Lamarr, Blazing Saddles

- “Holy underwear! Sheriff murdered! Innocent women and children blown to bits! We have to protect our phoney baloney jobs here, gentlemen! We must do something about this immediately! Immediately! Immediately! Harrumph! Harrumph! Harrumph!”
 Governor Le Petomane, Blazing Saddles

- (singing) “Now is a time of great decision, are we to stand up or to quit? There’s no avoiding this conclusion, our town is turning into shit.”
 Church Congregation, Blazing Saddles

- “Wine is sunlight held together by water.”
 Steven Spurrier, Bottle Shock

- (Jim: ‘Why don’t I like you?’) “Because you think I’m an asshole and I’m not really. I’m just British and, well you’re not!”
 Steven Spurrier, Bottle Shock

- (thinking to himself after being fired from Funky Time) “I realized that night the the fashion world was superficial and vacuous, so I decided instead to go to Los Angeles and become a celebrity. I was going to be the biggest Austrian superstar since Hitler.”
 Bruno, Bruno

- “Oh, this your wife, huh? A lovely lady. Hey baby, you must’ve been something before electricity.”
 Al Czervik, Caddyshack

- (to his Asian companion) “I hear this place is restricted, Wang, so don’t tell ‘em you’re Jewish, okay?”
 Al Czervik, Caddyshack

- “Oh, this is the worst-looking hat I ever saw. What, when you buy a hat like this I bet you get a free bowl of soup, huh? ( looks at Judge Smails, who’s wearing the same hat.) Oh, it looks good on you though.”
 Al Czervik, Caddyshack

- (breaks wind at a dinner) “Whoa, did somebody step on a duck?”
 Al Czervik, Caddyshack

- “It’s easy to grin, When your ship comes in, And you’ve got the stock market beat. But the man worthwhile, Is the man who can smile, When his shorts are too tight in the seat.”
 Judge Smails, Caddyshack

- “A flute without holes, is not a flute. A donut without a hole, is a Danish.”
 Ty Webb, Caddyshack

- (Lacey Underall: “My uncle says you’ve got a screw loose.”) “Your uncle molests collies.”
 Ty Webb, Caddyshack

- (on why she shops) “When I shop the world gets better, the world is better; and then it’s not anymore and I have to do it again.”
 Rebecca Bloomwood, Confessions Of A Shopaholic

- (as her boss orders clothes in rapid succession) “You speak Prada?”
 Rebecca Bloomwood, Confessions Of A Shopaholic

- (dressing down Monroe and Hodges for the way they handled a case) “You know there’s a right way of doing police work and there is a wrong way of doing it – then there is the way you two idiots do it.”
 Captain Romans, Cop Out

- (talking to Jimmy Monroe and making fun of two other cops) “Hunsaker, his wife’s got three teeth and two of those are in her pocket and one titty’s missing a nipple.”
 Paul Hodges, Cop Out

(debating with Jimmy who would be the lead interrogater and Jimmy said he had not made a decision yet) “Hello, the President is black now. We make the decisions.”
 Paul Hodges, Cop Out

- (reminicing with Tommy Sweet about the good old days) “Ain’t remembering wonderful?”
 Bad Blake, Crazy Heart

- (Jean Craddock asks him where all of the songs he writes come from) “Life, unfortunately.”
 Bad Blake, Crazy Heart

It looks like Blazing Saddles and Caddy Shack took the honors this time. Stay tuned.