"Oh, this your wife, huh? A lovely lady. Hey baby, you must've been something before electricity." - Al Czervik, Caddyshack
(to his Asian companion) "I hear this place is restricted, Wang, so don't tell 'em you're Jewish, okay?" - Al Czervik, Caddyshack
(after the gopher takes his ball) "Hey, that kangaroo just took my ball." - Al Czervik, Caddyshack
(tees off) "Four! [his ball hits Judge Smails in the crotch] I should have yelled, 'Two!'" - Al Czervik, Caddyshack
"He called me a baboon, he thinks I'm his wife." - Al Czervik, Caddyshack
"Hey everybody, we're all gonna get laid." - Al Czervik, Caddyshack
"Hey, doll. Could you scare up another round for our table over here? And tell the cook this is low-grade dog food. I've had better food at the ballgame, you know? This steak still has marks from where the jockey was hitting it." - Al Czervik, Caddyshack
(after the gopher takes his ball) "Hey, that kangaroo just took my ball." - Al Czervik, Caddyshack
(after an airplane passes just above his head) "I almost got head from Amelia Earhart!" - Al Czervik, Caddyshack
"Let me tell you -- the more you look at me, the funnier that gets." - Al Czervik, Caddyshack
"Oh, this is the worst-looking hat I ever saw. What, when you buy a hat like this I bet you get a free bowl of soup, huh? looks at Judge Smails, who's wearing the same hat.) Oh, it looks good on you though." - Al Czervik, Caddyshack
(breaks wind at a dinner) "Whoa, did somebody step on a duck?" - Al Czervik, Caddyshack
"You're a lot of woman, you know that? Yeah, wanna make 14 dollars the hard way?" - Al Czervik, Caddyshack