(Charlie: 'They said you was hung.') "And they was right!"
- Bart,
Blazing Saddles
(holding a gun to his own head) "Hold it! Next man makes a move, the nigger gets it!"
- Bart,
Blazing Saddles
(singing) "Now is a time of great decision, are we to stand up or to quit? There's no avoiding this conclusion, our town is turning into shit."
- Church Congregation,
Blazing Saddles
"Holy underwear! Sheriff murdered! Innocent women and children blown to bits! We have to protect our phony baloney jobs here, gentlemen! We must do something about this immediately! Immediately! Immediately! Harrumph! Harrumph! Harrumph!"
- Governor Le Petomane,
Blazing Saddles
"'Ditto?' 'Ditto,' you provincial putz?"
- Hedley Lamarr,
Blazing Saddles
"Go do that voodoo that you do so well!"
- Hedley Lamarr,
Blazing Saddles
"Men, you are about to embark on a great crusade to stamp out runaway decency in the west. Now you men will only be risking your lives, while I'll be risking an almost certain Academy Award nomination for Best Supporting Actor."
- Hedley Lamarr,
Blazing Saddles
"My mind is a raging torrent, flooded with rivulets of thought cascading into a waterfall of creative alternatives."
- Hedley Lamarr,
Blazing Saddles
"My mind is aglow with whirling, transient nodes of thought careening through a cosmic vapor of invention."
- Hedley Lamarr,
Blazing Saddles
(to Lili Von Stupp) "Shut up, you Teutonic twat!"
- Hedley Lamarr,
Blazing Saddles
"This is the bill that will convert the state hospital for the insane into the William J. Le Petomane memorial gambling casino for the insane."
- Hedley Lamarr,
Blazing Saddles
"Unfortunately there is one thing standing between me and that property: the rightful owners."
- Hedley Lamarr,
Blazing Saddles
"Where's my froggy?"
- Hedley Lamarr,
Blazing Saddles
"Oh no, don't do that, don't do that. If you shoot him, you'll just make him mad. "
- Jim,
Blazing Saddles
"Well, it got so that every piss-ant prairie punk who thought he could shoot a gun would ride into town to try out the Waco Kid. I must have killed more men than Cecil B. DeMille. It got pretty gritty. I started to hear the word 'draw' in my sleep. Then one day, I was just walking down the street when I heard a voice behind me say, 'Reach for it, mister!' I spun around... and there I was, face-to-face with a six-year old kid. Well, I just threw my guns down and walked away. Little bastard shot me in the ass. So I limped to the nearest saloon, crawled inside a whiskey bottle, and I've been there ever since."
- Jim,
Blazing Saddles
(consoling Bart) "What did you expect? 'Welcome, Sonny'? 'Make yourself at home'? 'Marry my daughter'? You've got to remember that these are just simple farmers. These are people of the land. The common clay of the new West. You know. Morons."
- Jim,
Blazing Saddles
(Bart: 'A man drink like that and he don't eat, he is going to die.') "When?"
- Jim,
Blazing Saddles
"Hello, handsome, is that a ten-gallon hat or are you just enjoying the show?"
- Lili Von Shtupp,
Blazing Saddles
(singing) "Here I stand, the goddess of desire, set men on fire, I have this power. Morning, noon, and night, it's drink and dancing, some quick romancing, and then a shower. Stage door Johnnies constantly surround me, they always hound me, with one request. Who can satisfy their lustful habits? I'm not a rabbit. I need some rest."
- Lili Von Shtupp,
Blazing Saddles
(singing) "I've been with thousands of men, again and again, they promise the moon, they're always coming and going, and going and coming, and always too soon."
- Lili Von Shtupp,
Blazing Saddles
"Come on, boys! The way you're lollygagging around here with them picks and them shovels, you'd think it was a hundred and twenty degrees. Can't be more than a hundred and fourteen."
- Lyle,
Blazing Saddles
"Badges? We don't need no stinking badges."
- Mexican Bandit,
Blazing Saddles
"Mongo only pawn, in game of life."
- Mongo,
Blazing Saddles
(Jim: 'Uh oh, Bart, I think Mongo here's taken a liking to you.') "Uh-uh, naw, Mongo straight."
- Mongo,
Blazing Saddles
"All right, we'll give some land to the niggers and the chinks. But we don't want the Irish!"
- Olson Johnson,
Blazing Saddles
(praying) "O Lord, do we have the strength to carry off this mighty task in one night? Or are we just jerking off?"
- Reverend Johnson,
Blazing Saddles
(Lyle: 'How 'bout some more beans, Mr. Taggart?') "[fans his hat in the air] I'd say you've had enough!"
- Taggart,
Blazing Saddles
(Hedley: 'My mind is aglow with whirling, transient nodes of thought careening through a cosmic vapor of invention.') "Ditto."
- Taggart,
Blazing Saddles
(Hedley: 'My mind is a raging torrent, flooded with rivulets of thought cascading into a waterfall of creative alternatives.') "Goddarnit, Mr. Lamarr, you use your tongue prettier than a twenty dollar whore."
- Taggart,
Blazing Saddles
"I hired you people to try to get a little track laid, not to jump around like a bunch of Kansas City faggots."
- Taggart,
Blazing Saddles
"What in the wide, wide world of sports is going on here?"
- Taggart,
Blazing Saddles