"Greg, what is the worst fraternity on this campus? (Greg: 'Well, that would be hard to say, sir. They're each outstanding in their own way.') Cut the horseshit, son. I've got their disciplinary files right here. Who dropped a whole truckload of fizzies into the swim meet? Who delivered the medical school cadavers to the alumni dinner? Every Halloween, the trees are filled with underwear. Every spring, the toilets explode. (Greg: 'You're talking about Delta, sir.') Of course I'm talking about Delta, you TWERP!" - Dean Vernon Wormer, Animal House
"Mr. Kroger; two C's, two D's and an F. That's a 1.2. Congratulations, Kroger. You're at the top of the Delta pledge class. Mr. Dorfman? (Flounder: 'Hello!') Zero point two. Fat, drunk and stupid is no way to go through life, son. Mr. Hoover, president of Delta house? One point six; four C's and an F. A fine example you set! Daniel Simpson Day; HAS no grade point average. All courses incomplete. Mr. Blu - MR. BLUTARSKY; ZERO POINT ZERO." - Dean Vernon Wormer, Animal House
"Put Neidermeyer on it. He's a sneaky little sh** just like you." - Dean Vernon Wormer, Animal House
(Greg Marmalard: 'But Delta's already on probation.') "They are? Well, as of this moment, they're on DOUBLE SECRET PROBATION!" - Dean Vernon Wormer, Animal House
"Well, well, well. Looks like somebody forgot there's a rule against alcoholic beverages in fraternities on probation! (Otter: 'What a tool.') I didn't get that, son, what was that? (Otter: 'Uh, I said, 'What a shame that a few bad apples have to spoil a good time for everyone by breaking the rules.'') Put a sock in it, boy, or else you'll be outta here like sh** through a goose." - Dean Vernon Wormer, Animal House