"[after jumping in the bear pit] I immediately regret this decision. "
- Ron Burgundy,
Anchorman
"[looking in mirror] Mmmmm... I look good. I mean really good! Hey, everyone, come see how good I look. "
- Ron Burgundy,
Anchorman
"[prank phone call] This is your doctor. I have your pregnancy report here, and guess what. You got knocked up."
- Ron Burgundy,
Anchorman
"By the beard of Zeus. "
- Ron Burgundy,
Anchorman
"Discovered by the Germans in 1904, they named it San Diego, which of course in German means a whale's vagina."
- Ron Burgundy,
Anchorman
"For just one night let’s not be coworkers. Let's be copeople."
- Ron Burgundy,
Anchorman
"Get out. Just go. We are through. Through. Because of your actions, you scorpion woman. "
- Ron Burgundy,
Anchorman
"How are you? You look awfully nice today. Maybe don't wear a bra next time."
- Ron Burgundy,
Anchorman
"I don't know how to put this but I'm kind of a big deal...People know me...I'm very important. I have many leather-bound books and my apartment smells of rich mahogany. "
- Ron Burgundy,
Anchorman
"I know that one day Veronica and I are gonna to get married on top of a mountain, and there's going to be flutes playing and trombones and flowers and garlands of fresh herbs. And we will dance till the sun rises. And then our children will form a family band. And we will tour the countryside and you won't be invited. "
- Ron Burgundy,
Anchorman
"I love scotch. Scotchy, scotch, scotch. Here it goes down, down into my belly."
- Ron Burgundy,
Anchorman
"I wanna say something. I'm gonna put it out there; if you like it, you can take it, if you don't, send it right back. I want to be on you."
- Ron Burgundy,
Anchorman
"I'll have three fingers of Glenlivet, with a little bit of pepper. And some cheese. "
- Ron Burgundy,
Anchorman
"I'm a man who discovered the wheel and built the Eiffel Tower out of metal and brawn. That's what kind of man I am. You're just a woman with a small brain. With a brain a third the size of us. It's science."
- Ron Burgundy,
Anchorman
"I'm gonna punch you in the ovary, that's what I'm gonna do. A straight shot. Right to the babymaker. "
- Ron Burgundy,
Anchorman
"I'm not a baby, I am a man. I am an anchorman."
- Ron Burgundy,
Anchorman
"Last time I looked in the dictionary, my name's Ron Burgundy."
- Ron Burgundy,
Anchorman
"Let's go over the ground rules. Rule number one: No touching of the hair or face. AND THAT'S IT! "
- Ron Burgundy,
Anchorman
"Oops, I almost forgot. I won't be able to make it, fellas. Veronica and I trying this new fad called, uh, jogging. I believe it's jogging or yogging. It might be a soft j. I'm not sure but apparently you just run for an extended period of time. It's supposed to be wild. "
- Ron Burgundy,
Anchorman
"Sweet Lincoln's mullet."
- Ron Burgundy,
Anchorman
"The only way to bag a classy lady is to give her two tickets to the gun show [kisses biceps] and see if she likes the goods."
- Ron Burgundy,
Anchorman
"Well, I could be wrong, but I believe, uh, diversity is an old, old wooden ship that was used during the Civil War era."
- Ron Burgundy,
Anchorman
"What? You pooped in the refrigerator? And you ate the whole... wheel of cheese? How'd you do that? Heck, I'm not even mad; that's amazing."
- Ron Burgundy,
Anchorman
"You are a smelly pirate hooker. Why don't you go back to your home on Whore Island? "
- Ron Burgundy,
Anchorman