"Guys, uh, what exactly does third base feel like? (Oz: 'Like warm apple pie.') Yeah? Yeah. (Oz: 'Yeah.') Apple pie, huh? (Oz: 'Uh huh.') McDonald's or homemade?" - Jim Levenstein, American Pie
"I would like to make an announcement. There is a beautiful woman masturbating on my bed." - Jim Levenstein, American Pie
"She's gone! Oh my God, she used me. I was used. I was used! Cool!" - Jim Levenstein, American Pie
"You realize we're all going to go to college as virgins. They probably have special dorms for people like us." - Jim Levenstein, American Pie