from American Dad
"Do you like shaving your armpits, Hayley? 'Cause when the terrorists take over this country, that's the first thing to go!" - Stan Smith, "Pilot - American Dad," American Dad
(Kevin: "What are you, gay?") "I was when I worked in real estate. Once I stopped selling houses, my sodomy cleared up like that." - Stan Smith, "Threat Levels," American Dad
"I'll be Admiral Finch from the 58th Flotilla, and you'll be Lady Constantina, my real estate agent and we'll promenade around the neighborhood delighting both young and old alike with our saucy banter." - Stan Smith, "Threat Levels," American Dad
"You know what's so wrong about gayness? If there are two men, who has the vagina?" - Stan Smith, "Threat Levels," American Dad
(about Cookie Monster) "Don't trust him. He eats cookies but he never swallows anything!" - Stan Smith, "Francine's Flashback ," American Dad
(Hayley: "Mom stole my boyfriend!") "Your boyfriend stole my wife! Let's get back at them by dating each other. Wait a minute. Daddy didn't think that through." - Stan Smith, "Francine's Flashback ," American Dad
"Yeah, it should. But we don't live in Shouldland. Ah, Shouldland! Where clean-cut kids cruise Shouldland Boulevard and the Shouldland High football team get their optimistic asses kicked by their crosstown rival, Reality Check Tech." - Stan Smith, "Bullocks to Stan," American Dad
"Damnit! This is all Francine's fault! She could have started the wave of laughter. Laughter is contagious, like smallpox or gay!" - Stan Smith, "Stan of Arabia Part 1," American Dad
"Francine, good news. I'm in charge of planning Bullock's party, which means you're in charge of planning Bullock's party." - Stan Smith, "Stan of Arabia Part 1," American Dad
(wants to watch "Lost") "Just because we're in Saudi Arabia doesn't mean it's not Wednesday! " - Stan Smith, "Stan of Arabia Part 1," American Dad
"Surprise! I got us a second wife. You know, to help with cooking and cleaning. Her name's impossible to pronounce, so I just call her Thundercat." - Stan Smith, "Stan of Arabia Part 1," American Dad