"Do you know what it's like to fall in the mud and get kicked...in the head...with an iron boot? Of course you don't, no one does. It never happens. Sorry, Ted, that's a dumb question. Skip that." - Rex Kramer, Airplane
(talking to the airport control tower on the phone) "No, we can't do that, the risk of a flame-out is too great. Keep 'em at 24,000. No, feet." - Rex Kramer, Airplane
(to McCroskey) "Our only hope is to build this man up. We gotta give him all the confidence we can. [to Striker] Striker, have you ever flown a multi-engine plane before? (Striker: 'No, never.') [to McCroskey, with the microphone still on] Shit. This is a Goddamn waste of time. There's no way he can land this plane." - Rex Kramer, Airplane
"Striker, listen, and you listen close: flying a plane is no different than riding a bicycle, just a lot harder to put baseball cards in the spokes." - Rex Kramer, Airplane