(Ted: 'It's a damn good thing he doesn't know how much I hate his guts.') "[relays over the microphone] It's a damn good thing you don't know how much he hates your guts." - Elaine Dickinson, Airplane
"May I offer you anything to read, ma'am? ('Do you have anything light?') How about this leaflet, 'Famous Jewish Sports Legends?'" - Elaine Dickinson, Airplane
(Elaine, you're a member of this crew. Can you face some unpleasant facts?') "No." - Elaine Dickinson, Airplane
"There's no reason to become alarmed, and we hope you'll enjoy the rest of your flight. By the way, is there anyone on board who knows how to fly a plane?" - Elaine Dickinson, Airplane
"You got a letter from headquarters this morning. ('What is it?') It's a big building where generals meet, but that's not important." - Elaine Dickinson, Airplane