Read our Review of 17 Again
(to Mike while is taped to the toilet) "I'd shake your hand but it's taped to my ass."
- Alex O'Donnell,
17 Again
(introducing Mike/Mark to his Mom) "Hi Mom. This is Mark, Uncle Ned's bastard. I know, who would have a kid with Uncle Ned? Yuck."
- Alex O'Donnell,
17 Again
(nervously speaking to the girl of his dreams) "I just want to tell you that you look like a dog. Your hair, your hair looks like my dog's hair because it's shiny and soft and then she died."
- Alex O'Donnell,
17 Again
(about Mike O'Donnell) "I don't know why he's waving at us but if that boy was an apple, he'd be delicious."
- Friend,
17 Again
(sex ed course) "However, let's get real. I know asking high school seniors to be abstinent is like asking a porcupine to poop goat cheese."
- High school teacher,
17 Again
(to Alex O'Donnell) "That's my boy, remember, it's not how big you are it's how big you play."
- Mike O'Donnell,
17 Again
(to Maggie O'Donnell) "You might have to kiss a few more jerks but one day you're going to meet a boy who treats you the way you deserve to be treated, like the sun rises and sets with you."
- Mike O'Donnell,
17 Again
(after his daughter Maggie makes a pass at him) "Sweet baby Jesus."
- Mike O'Donnell,
17 Again
(to Scarlett O'Donnell) "Of course I came. Now what kind of bridesmaid would I be if I didn't hold your hand during the divorce? Now just remember, the first one's always the hardest."
- Naomi,
17 Again
(continuing to find out why Mike is 17 again) "Are you now or have you ever been a Norse God, Vampire or a time traveling cyborg?"
- Ned Gold,
17 Again
(as he and Mike fight with toy light sabers) "Ah, an elegant weapon from a more civilized time."
- Ned Gold,
17 Again
(trying to find out why Mike is 17 again) "Were you at any point shot with a gamma ray?"
- Ned Gold,
17 Again
(when first meeting principal Jane Masterson after shaking hands) "I think our hands just made a baby."
- Ned Gold,
17 Again
(to Jane Masterson) "Before we get started I think you should know that Mark's a bastard. I had him out of wedlock so I'm single and I'm very rich."
- Ned Gold,
17 Again
(presenting his credentials to the Judge when asked if he is an attorney) "I believe the law degree in my pocket says so. Yes and it's a little bit smeared because I sat on it in the car and not because I printed it out recently."
- Ned Gold,
17 Again
(when countering Jane's argument that she can't be seen dating parents of students) "Jane, how can you be seen with me when I'm wearing a cloak of invisibility?"
- Ned Gold,
17 Again
(to Mike/Mark) "You are a weirdo little man child. You are a pervert."
- Scarlett O'Donnell,
17 Again